The Matrilineal Marriage System of Fehan Tetun People in Suai, East Timor

The philosophy of the Fehan Tetun marriage system is Feto Tur Uma (girls stay in the house) and Mane Sai Ema (boys leave the house). When a woman marries, she brings a man into the family. On the other hand, when a man marries, he does not bring a woman into the family; he leaves the family to live with his spouse.

The Fehan Tetun people residing in the coastal plain are the only ones practising the matrilineal marriage system discussed in this article. Fehan-Tetun people are the people who live in the flatland. In Suai, six villages practise the matrilineal system of marriage. These are Raimea, Matai, Busakukun, Suai Loro, Kamanasa, and Busakukun. Those Tetun people who reside in mountainous regions practise Hafoli (the dowry system), which requires you to offer the bride's parents some property as payment for your marriage. The Tetun tribes of the mountainous regions are Fatumea, Fohoren, and Tilomar.

The matrilineal marriage system of the Fehan-Tetun people in Suai has two philosophical principles:

FETO TUR UMA (girls stay in the house).Feto Tur Uma suggests that girls stay in the house to continue the family line and receive their mother's property. They must stay in the house after getting married. The mother is the head of the family, and all children belong to their mother's lineage. The father's immediate and extended families are rarely known to them.

MANE SAI EMA (boys leave the house)We can define Mane Sai Ema (boys leave the house) as the separation of a man from his loving family to live with his wife and become a member of her clan. Although he still has a bond with his family, he takes full responsibility for the welfare of his wife, the children, and the rest of his wife's family after he moves in.

What role does the husband play, or what does he do, in this kind of marriage? Even though the wife is the head of the family, a Fehan Tetun married man contributes significantly to his family and the community, much like married men in other cultures do. He serves as the primary breadwinner for his wife, their children, and the wife's family. If he marries a woman with wealthy parents, he will look after the wealth. Typically, the husband works as a farmer and looks after the family's cattle, buffalo, horses, and other domestic animals. The wife stays home to care for the children and conduct other household chores.

Children born into Fehan Tetun's family belong to the mother's kinship group. The mother's lineage group includes the father, mother, children, and other extended families, including cousins, uncles, and aunts. The children are familiar with their father's family but do not feel as connected to them as they do to their mother's family.

Daughters born into matrilineal families are more important than sons. They are the cornerstones of the mother's bloodline. If you do not have daughters in your family, there will be no one to carry on your generation and inherit the property. As a result, your family lineage becomes extinct if the female descendants die out.

According to the traditional customary law of the Fehan Tetun people in Suai, you can marry your first cousin from your mother's brother's side. The bloodline has already been split because his children belong to different mothers' lineages. You can also get married to your first cousin on your father's sister's side, but not to the offspring of your father's brother. The mother's lineage is the most crucial factor in this marriage system. You can marry any sons or daughters of your mother's brothers and any other men of the same Uma Lulik who have left and married.

Boys and girls naturally start showing interest in each other when they turn 18 and enter maturity as young men and young women. The Fehan Tetun people refer to these young people as Mane Foiwai (young men) and Feto Foiwai (young women). In the 20th century, a Mane Foiwai (young man) would not ask a Feto Foiwai (young woman) to go out on a date. He must locate a representative to approach her on his behalf. It is known as Ailalete; the young man would visit Ailalete's home every night to talk to the woman. If they got along after a few weeks or months, his parents and other family members would formally ask the woman's parents.

In the 21st century, Mane Foiwai (young men) and Feto Foiwai (young women) no longer need an Ailalete to mediate their relationships because their attitudes concerning taboos have changed. A Mane Foiwai (young man) only needs to ask a woman out on a date if he has his heart set on her. They make boyfriends and girlfriends in the same way that young people do everywhere else on the globe. However, they continue to uphold their matrilineal marriage system, practised for thousands of years and passed down from generation to generation.

Fehan-Tetun people in Suai celebrate matrilineal marriage in a traditional wedding ceremony. The bride's parents are entirely in charge of the wedding ceremony. Every member of the bride's family contributes to the wedding. They invite everyone in the hamlet and relatives from nearby villages to the wedding ceremony. If the bride and groom live in the same village, some people will go to the bride, while others will go to the groom.

The ceremony will begin once the bride and groom are ready. The groom's relatives and other guests at the party will take the groom to the bride's house. Young women will perform traditional Bidu dancing to accompany the wedding procession. The bride's traditional leader will greet the groom in a traditional ritual when the groom and his group arrive at the bride's house. After the rituals, the groom's family and traditional leader hand over the groom to the bride's family. Both parties officially proclaimed The bride and groom husband and wife. The bridegroom is legally a member of his wife's clan.

The newlyweds are now referred to as Feto Fou (daughter-in-law) and Mane Fou (son-in-law). The husband's parents and family refer to her as Feto Fou (daughter-in-law), and his wife's parents and family refer to him as Mane Fou (son-in-law). The husband is referred to by the wife's brothers as Ria (brother-in-law) and the husband's sisters as Bae (sister-in-law). If the couple's first child is a boy, the community will call him Nakama, and if they have a girl, they will call him Abukama. They will call him Kaixama (childless man) if they are childless.

In summary, the matrilineal marriage system of the Fehan-Tetun people in Suai has two principles: the Feto Tur Uma (girls stay in the house) and the Mane Sai Ema (boys stay in the house). The daughters are the backbone of the mother's lineage; they continue the generation of the mothers and inherit ownership. The mother is the head of the family, and all children and other extended family members belong to the mother's lineage. However, the husband remains the primary provider of the household and plays a significant role in society economically, socially, and politically.